we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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