im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
