Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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