No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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