Duck Duck Cougar?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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