Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is wine microwaveable?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
