So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
