im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
