I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
