Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
