i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the condom got lost in my hair
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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