Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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