So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
