2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
