I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
