Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
