Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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