i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
