I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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