try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
