nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
