New invention idea: vibrating tampons
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
