she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
