Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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