i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
