I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
