i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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