I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
