The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You need a sexual gate keeper
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
