So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we're making bets on your personal life
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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