A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
