to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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