i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
