I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
