This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
