why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
