Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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