Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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