Cold hands, warm shart.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
