I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
