I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
