hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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