I'm lost and stupid without you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
