your room smells of hookers.
And success
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
