this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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