When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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