I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
