belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
