Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Every concussion has its silver lining
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
