Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
