i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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