just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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