No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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